My brain is the biggest douche bag I know.
I’m happy, met a nice guy, with the worst name possible. My brain decided to bring back all the memories I had locked away .
But let’s just take a moment to discuss the name of this poor kid that has fallen for me Jake Eric. This is a sad joke being named that. Jake being the first real heartbreak the one person who knew more about me than my then best friends and Eric the guy I trusted enough to be the first guy I had sex with up until this new kid
Ever realize what you felt for someone was a lust? and you actually don’t really know anything about them after sleeping with them multiple times? I have. And all I can think of is how luck I”m not the one you got prego part of me feels bad for you I know you don’t want the kid but she is forcing it on you and that she wouldn’t take care of it but on the other hand if you would use stupid condoms you wouldn’t have this problem dear…Iconsider you a dear friend but you can be an idiot sometimes I swear.
you know what hurts is finding out the guy you have been sleeping with is ignoring you because he is seeing someone else. It literally fucking kills.
WHy because the only question I have in my head is WHat is wrong with me that you won’t date me. But I can’t bring myself to ask that because that would be bitchy but I want to soooo badly and I don’t have anyone to ask if I should ask that.
But on the other hand I deserve that answer. I deserve to be respected more than I have been. I just want to go yell at him but that won’t happen.
I never like to think one person can affect my mood so much. It confuses the living shit out of me because I don’t know if it is you or just the sex or both. It also pisses me off. Why? because someone I actually liked just went and disappeared again. This is becoming something I don’t want to happen again I”m tired of it and just want to find a guy thats as head over heels for me as I am for him. but that is looking very dim sadly
Well more like Internet matchmaking.
I did it for shirts and giggles went one one thing from it but it makes me tired and realize that all I want is what I can’t have.
And that kills me.
I’ve been gone for a month.
and. you.don’t. want. to. hang. out.
something is wrong with this picture.